Good communication is the life blood of any relationship. Many couples tell me that they can’t communicate, but everyone communicates all the time. We can’t stop communicating, even if we try, whether it’s verbally, physically or both at the same time in a way which is incongruent e.g. telling your partner that you are not angry with them but with an aggressive body stance. Which message do you believe?
What couples really need, is how to learn clear, congruent communication that is assertive without being aggressive and enables them to deal with conflict respectfully and effectively. We all have different ways of communicating our needs and our love. Have a look at ‘love languages’ to see how YOU communicate your love.
To create the relationship that you desire with better communication, there will have to be some difficult decisions and trade-offs for each person. But remember, if you strive to always feel emotionally safe in your relationship and achieve this, you will pay the price by becoming dull and lose the ability to be a strong effective communicator.